- the burden of sentiment -
my bed stand gets louder at night.
i look for caution by the bookshelf,
but jumbles recognize each other through the mess.
this was not a moment i could find dressed up
with the instances of myself that i know,
and by living through the lure of this drink
i submit proof of my past:
the draw of everything i am not.
one interesting aspect of emotional instability which
my dear reads might not be aware of is its propensity to
completely wear one down throughout the day.
i was basically complaining to everyone who would listen today
about how exhausted i was.
granted, it may have something to do with my incredibly poor
sleeping conditions last night (thank you linda),
but it probably had more to do with my fearful realization
that i am just as vulnerable as i have been.
which is not the greatest realization to have
in the office around a bunch of patients.
fortunately, i have been a master of the
"fake until make" school of dysfunction-masquerade
for quite some time now, so everyone thinks i am not a wreck.
