i don't think i've fallen in love so quickly

as i have with 'the rip tide' by beirut

when i think of myself as a creature

i imagine some kind of spider made of glass

with my legs pointing everywhere

clear and hard as day

if you could pet a spider, would you?

1 more to go til 500!

i promise i'll make it good 

(20 minutes later)

jk i think i fell in love with 'the flying club cup' faster
 hard to say, really
when love is so fast!

i wonder what kind of effect having a blog has

on my day-to-day activities

because i spend so much of this space

writing things i can never say out loud

and i can't imagine it doesn't have an effect on my life

(yes, yes a double negative. fuck you.)

i guess i'll never be really comfortable

with being honest with everyone

but i don't think that's as much of an issue

as it was for me before

because i'm more honest more of the time

gee this post is so great

i fucking suck, i know

hey at least i made myself laugh with this one

quite an eventful weekend

i haven't felt this content in a while

but i won't get too crazy with it

or at least that's what i'm telling myself

haha

now on to doing some things!

i pretty much haven't stopped listening to "Go"

since it's been out

although i've been sprinkling some new shit

like Cloud Nothings and Andrew Bird here and there

there are some things in MCS songs

that rip quickly into my valves

"i won't say 'i'm sorry'

this hasn't been a waste of time.

tell me, do you think we'll be fine after all?

i'm all nerve, an anxious, sort of complicated fear;

the worst is yet to come, my dear."

i think this is why sleep doesn't come so easily

4 more posts until my 500th

i thought when i was smaller

and life was much bigger

that time would go on

and i would get bigger

and life would get smaller

the day before i left home

i drove around for a while

and then i parked

and i cried for a while

then i started my car up again

rolled down the windows

and drove home

sometimes i feel like there are

so many strange things out there in the world

that i will never understand

and that's what makes living so beautiful

and so scary at the same time

two things i want to run by you, dear readers:

is it weird that even though i'm home i'm already feeling

homesick and sentimental?

i suppose it's because i'm leaving tomorrow

also

if everyone acted pretentiously,

wouldn't that at some point be considered

high society?

(for those who didn't quite catch it

i was being satirical)

so i'm halfway into "only revolutions"

but i decided to take a break from that madness

and delve into "the brief wondrous life of oscar wao"

 (yes yes i finally decided to read it)

well before i knew it, i had powered through the book

in one sitting (although i did stop for dinner)

and i must say it is a thoroughly good read.

 that's the kind of book that lines your pillows with spiders

and makes you wake the fuck up on the days

when all you can think about is the end of days.

it sort of read like a modern day version of 'house of the spirits'

(and i almost wrote 'tasted' there

because the language of both books 

is so dense that it feels like it permeates

your surroundings)

one caveat, dear readers:

it is definitely not a feel-happy kind of book.

it sort of is, but only for probably 5% of the people

who think that way;

the other 95% would put this book down at some points

and just go hug the shit out of someone.

i finished reading it and immediately wanted to go

on a road trip.

to be honest

if there is one thing that really churns my insides

its the fact that i truly do want someone

that i can just go see something beautiful with

because let's face it

there's a lot of beauty in the world we haven't seen

just laying around my room

soaking in the warmth of the desert

while my fan waves idly at me

i turned on 'montezuma'

because it was stuck in my head

but i couldn't help myself

so now i'm listening to all of 'helplessness blues' again

one of those days

one quick thing:

the austerity of some of my posts makes me wonder

what i was feeling and frankly startles me at times.

 

i find it more than slightly interesting that

i feel like if anyone wanted to know me better

then they could just e-thumb through this ratty old 

shambles of a blog and at least have a taste of

what strange things go off in my head

instead i'm off doing real, dumb actions in real, dumb life

and thus it is known henceforth as 'eric woo' 

i wonder if someone that didn't know me at all

read this and met me for real

would even fathom the possibility

of two and two being four.

i suppose in the end

i just kind of wish people knew me better

because if they did

i think they'd like me better

or at least be nicer to the fool

 

"there is no angry way to say 'bubbles'. when depressed or upset,

i remember this and smile a bit."

thesongofabird, via reddit

sometimes i wonder if justin pierre and i

were separated at birth:

"...but i wore you down with my slapstick and passion/

tricks of the trade, i'm a loveable knave/

i'm a handful it's true."

not too many lulzworthy updates on here

so i'll just leave this semi-re-post here:

that is me on google maps 

yay i'm famous finally

something that i found as i vainly continue my quest to study -

i find myself in the window

of my self-influence,

cut clear and square

from the glassy thoughts.

instead of the weather pulling through

or the reflections of my quiet things

this view is jagged from me going

back and forth.

just the time of this life alone

cracks, tumbles, even leaks into

a thin sheet of my mind.

 

two quick thoughts on women:

1. i think my life will always and invariably be

linked/tied/broken up/kicked off/pulverized/magnetized/resplendetized

by girls named katherine/kate/katie

(note that resplendetized is a made-up word but

fuck i wanted it in there!)

2. carly rae jepsen, in writing "call me maybe"

essentially took what may have been a

one in hundred/thousand/ten thousand

shot for guys everywhere (maybe girls too)

and turned it into a fucking catchy as fuck pop song

that you won't be able to get out of your head

as you start saying "hey, i know this is crazy", etc.,

and you will just start laughing and saying "nvm, l8r lol"

fuck i need to get to bed at a reasonable hour 

ps i think it would actually be enjoyable to go to a
baseball game with a girl

noted

yes, my dear readers,

after days of introspection

i am back at it again

it's been a little while and many things have happened

since the last time we touched upon my

weird little mystery-manic-mumbled sack of life

that i lug around while everyone watches me queerly

erik got married

and that made me feel many things

let's enumerate:

1. i was more than adequately happy at the marriage

of my faux-brother, considering

he is my faux-brother

and i have more than one affection for him

2. i couldn't stop wondering how crazy life has gotten

to the point where i'm sitting at my best friend's wedding

and have no idea where i'm going next

3. many late night beers were drunk

and that was most pleasing

4. yes, yes, get it over with.

i cried at the wedding.

at least i held it together til the very end,

when erik was walking back from the alter

with his nouvelle-wife and he held his hand out

for a time-honored traditional high five

and i touched this nouveau-husband for a split second

and that was all that my mixed up emotions needed to release

(as per 'son of a gun': 

"i see little raindrops of love forming under your eyelids/

as i push you too far").

so now we're back at it again

except i got a pretty terrible eye infection

a note to all my dear readers -

please don't over-wear your contacts,

because eye infections hurt

LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

anyhow

we'll see what the next weeks hold

as i dive back into living

and all the galloping goodness that comes with it

 

"if you just let me make my own mistakes/

i promise i'll behave only in the worst way."

the new mcs album is streaming today

this is my current favorite song from it 

 

it makes me want to find someone and

hug the love out of them

"i don't want to change your mind;

i don't want to change the world.

i just want to watch it go by;

i just want to watch you go by."

let's face it, dear readers,

i tend to flip flop quite a bit

at least i have the time to make things

so much better

life is very good sometimes

yes

it's the night time that creates these things

of mystery and twists of my body

where i wake up in the quieting light.

not just the time between

that i can't rest

but also the time behind my eyes,

so full and damp

it can swim away with the rest of them

deep into the abyss and perhaps

not be seen for a week's length.

i've had quite a week of insomnia;

i think since sunday or monday

i've gone to sleep no earlier than 4 or 5

which makes me tired and delirious to no end

today is the first day i got some normal-ish rest

i can't wait for the new mcs album to come out

this summer is going to be a weird one

but i still want all things

now just to find them

 

and life keeps grinding the fuck on

i took the "elevator route" for the first time today

which means i went through the hospital, took the elevator up

from the webster entrance,

and exited through the buchanan entrance

it was boring yet lovely

i've taken to talking to protocol in a weird scottish accent a lot of times

i'm not sure why

but i think he prefers it

maybe he is a european rabbit

he is currently sitting in my lap as i write this

and i thoroughly enjoy that

something i noted as i took my walk

through the park because i had a grande iced coffee

and im hyped as hell so i needed to do something

instead of lazying around my bed:

"he is coming from a part of hell/

where lightning blue eyes don't go down well"

i could do with a vacation i figure

because i think i'm losing little pieces of my brain

(see above)

it's interesting to wonder about all the

little intricacies of life that keep you up

i checked off all the things i wanted to do tonight:

1. get a sombrero

2. drink a lot

3. hang out with my friends

sometimes i find myself thinking about

how i got here and why

and i suppose that is why i am here right now

i think it's a wonderful life that we all live

even if it wasn't the way that you thought it would be

and even if you stumble along the way

in the end i suppose all things happen for a reason

especially those things that don't happen

the empty spaces give us some semblance

of the vast space that we live in

and make us feel good about what we fill in between

now if only i can keep moving forward

"it's only a matter of time"

if only

"I believe it's true 'cause nothing matters/

when I'm all wrapped up in you"

pretty, and pretty haunting, too

okay i'm done kicking myself to my bed

i'm just gonna put on some fleet foxes and call it a night

i mean technically i'll be studying implantology

but you know what i mean

i guess at some point everyone gets tired

of being tired of themselves

when you take apart our hands in reverse

looking like every universe has just exploded

 and falling quietly into the night

it's like waiting for the slow backwards rolling

of that one incessant thunder

of maybe some beat from afar
as the stick moves up and down out of our hands

and you wish it would focus into view faster

and this piece would crack right in

but that waiting

and living in the quiet separation

of my breath towards the door

by the unruly lights that smell so focused

the wanting of an idea that seems universal

and maybe even everyone else is wanting

and that is the wanting you are looking for

 and there isn't even a word needed for it

so apparently my brain has decided

that i wont get anything done today

which is...moderately important to my near future

not so much so that i'm actually worried enough to do something

about it but not so little that i'm actually not worried enough to

maybe do something about it

we still have a couple of hours left of worktime

so we will see if anything happens

by the way

did you know it's quite difficult to be a new pet owner?

poor protocol

i wish i could let him out more

 but until he learns that poop belongs in one place

and that not everything is for eating

i can't let him around the apartment

just my room

in other news

i think i have my voice back

after about a week

finally i can annoy myself again

nothing denotes a good nap

like the lack of a memory

a big drool stain

the "waking terrors"

and the sound of your newly acquired rabbit named "protocol"

eating hay and watching you being stupidly human

friday night! 

so the first single of the new

motion city soundtrack album "go" came out today

and as per usual

i will be disappearing inside of this song

for a couple of weeks

so if  you need me,

feel free to knock and i'll get right back to you

oh, here it is by the way

another week gone

time has taken its toll on me now

and as i sit here studying for some test

i try as hard as i can to sing along

to the song that i play

but the scratchy whispers are all that my throat allows right now

 i kind of get tired of dreading things

 

so i'm feeling sick for the second time

in about 3-4 weeks

maybe it's the little critters in my body

going all batshit to my cells

but i've been in a very unusual mood lately

i can tell i'm not my normal self

because i just listened to bright eyes

and when i listen to bright eyes

i know that i'm fucking around with my own mind

weird ain't it?

when is someone going to cure the cold?

it's just as everyone feared

nothing really changes after all

i'll still go crazy for black nail polish

a quick wit

and the messiness that i can't clean up

but sure can fuck up some more

you don't have to sit there and tell me things can/will change

i know they can't/won't

but i live like this so that it's okay

why wouldn't it be okay?

we are just specks anyways

and after we all turn into ash

or bones

or whatever you want to be

we won't be matter

this is the clearest

"who gives a shit"

i've done in a while

 

when i first saw this

i legitimately think my heart stopped for a second

because it was so...beautiful

 

couldn't sleep last night

jotted down some things while they were still in my mind:

i don't want anyone's attention anymore;

rub the gritty metals on my eyes

to take away the shine

that might trick your heart into

thinking i'm just another one of you

is there another way to kick this anxiety addiction

without a beating of my body in little forms?

let's cash in on my weakness.

you can grab my new life and

everyone else can have the

dull pieces that don't expire

and improve with age.

there are two words that seem to help

move the world along:

i'm sorry

especially when you both know it

especially when it doesn't need to be said

and yet it is the best way to break the silence

and it keeps everything together

forgiving others may not be easy

but without it

nothing would ever go away

and we couldn't possibly do anything else that's possible

don't be afraid to say i'm sorry

because sometimes

those two words mean so much more than you think