the part of silence that feels good

it starts with losing my here-ness;

i drift off past the walls

and i can feel myself lowering

then the waves come

and spill their dizziness over my insides

finally,

it's like i become a smaller version of myself in my mind

and the trap door loosens,

and off i go into the depths,

and i get that heart-racy feeling

and the sweat on my palms

sometimes even a bit of shakiness

(i guess that could be from the altitude)

and then the best part comes after

there is no end to the world;

no one can stop me

and why would they try?

i exude the excitement from my pores

and my hairs stand on end

i just wish someone would experience this with me

so that i wouldn't have to go it alone so much

but then again,

i suppose i become so absorbed in my own head

that i lose track of everyone else

and then who gets burned?

let's pick up some knives, sweetie/

and don't worry because we know we are fooling.