this must be it

another year gone by
and this one was a big one
for some reason
i feel like there are a lot of loose ends for me 
as i head off into 2012

i can't imagine what kind of things
will leave me flabbergasted in the year to come
but i'm going to do my best to prepare for
strange, wondrous times ahead

whenever i catch myself feeling down
i like to think that there are happy days coming for me
now, don't get me wrong dear readers,
i still have that realist sentiment deep inside me,
but the way i figure it is that if i don't think it will get better
then i might just disappear for good

there are a couple of resolutions i hope to keep
for the new year:

1. be kinder to myself

2. let things be

3. don't smoke (already 2 weeks in!)

i think if i can accomplish those three things
my life will become drastically better

to be honest,
i'm sort of rambling here
because i can't quite put in words
exactly how i feel right now,
so let's make a recipe:
eric woo (serves up to 2 people)

3 lemons
some leftover warmth from the desert sun
exhaustion (add to taste)
a tinge of sadness
half a hundredweight of regret
bake until hopeful
serve on a silver platter,
with a side of wondering
and a pinch of memories

i think, in the end,
only time will tell whether i will truly be happy again
or if not happy,
at least not dive into fits of despair
every time i try not to be sad (i know, ironic)

i will try really hard not to be such a downer,
if not for myself,
then at least for all those who despise seeing me like this

and besides,
who likes being around party poopers?
i'll never be whole again unless i make something
of myself (in some sense)

have a very happy new year
and i hope that all your future endeavors
are successful;
i hope that all of you out there
who took your time to care about me
know that i care deeply about you, too
and that i wish nothing but happiness
and cool shit for your future

31.12.11

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