post-visit

back again from a seemingly quick weekend

off in the wondrous place that is

cramped and full of boisterous laughter at all times of the night.

i always feel odd when i come back from visiting pat

because of several things:

1. i get used to sleeping with someone really quickly

and it feels uncomfortable on my bed on my own

2. i find everything to be TOO BIG.

this is crazy, i know, but for some reason

everything in her world is small...

as if she designed her own environment

to fit her petite lifestyle.

3. there is always that sense of missing

and it's deep and unsettling.

at the same time, i feel it re-affirms

my feelings for her and this relationship.

i could say that i love everything she does,

from her facial expressions to the way

she smells my neck to the way

her hand reaches for mine so firmly

and wraps around my thumb

because it's too small to cover much else
(kind of a parallel to the way she holds

my entire body; maybe she tries

to cover me up so we can have a moment

just to ourselves, a full moment?)

instead i'll just leave it to this:

i am beside myself with that dizzying brand of happiness

when she is around.