zones

i doubled down on the melatonin tonight

so i'm feeling an odd mixture of drowsiness and anxiety

when i walk around by myself

i can see the words i'd like to say

tipping right into the front of my brain

but it's hard to get them out

i think this is exemplary of my perceived

lack of control on my life

i do feel like i'm caroming through this vast city

looking for every grate and seam

before i have to leave again

and yet i feel so mixed about whether i do want to go

it looks like i wasn't designed intelligently